IM

oh how fun
11:52 PM
where

11:52 PM
look at what my mom wrote on fb
11:53 PM
"ok went 4
wheeling and only lasted an hour mainly beacuse the dog was going to
drop dead I swear he sat in a slew for 30 min all these slews are like
being in the desert all that blue water and no way to get into it and
it is hot as hell"

11:53 PM
is that english? so i said "where you doing that alone and were you riding your dog and what is a slew?"

i know right LSBoy said "i dont get it" cuz im laughing so hard 11:55 PM


lil nugget


Hahah 11:55 PM

ME:
you know how bugged out i get when people dont speak english to me 11:55 PM
remember Vs writing

11:55 PM
i used to say what the fuck did you just say 11:56 PM



lil nugget:

Hahahh...and when people say YEP

11:56 PM
Ha 11:56 PM

ME:

ewwww 11:56 PM
thats too funny

Lil Nugget:

I cud picture ur mom with a bandand on and tattoos...like a high class bro-ho 11:56 PM




Lil Nugett
Except for the ho part 11:57 PM
11:57 PM

IM ON A ROLL AGAIN....3 NEW POSTSSSSSS!

How not to Make a "Peach Moon"

LSBoy and I went out to dinner on fathers day (unrelated) and we ordered "Peach Moons" which consists of Blue Moon (beer) with a shot of peach shnaps and OJ.

So we fell in love with the drink it was soooooooo good. Last night this is what LSBoy tried to serve me, his rendition of a "Peach Moon" keep in mind he's an amateur drinker.

One Karl Strauss Tower 10 IPA (wtf is that? its pale ale and gross)
One Shot of APRICOT BRANDY (WHAT THE FUCK!)
OJ

I had no idea what he had concocted but i trusted it was a "Peach Moon" I took one sip of that shit and my eyes started watering, i literally puked in my mouth.

Moral of the story don't let a NON drunk make drinks up. SICK!

Networking

I can't describe the euphoria I have been experiencing every day. I am exposed to the finest family law attorneys in my area. Smooth move and I have been talking to ANYONE who will listen to us. We have met SOOOOOOOO many attorneys and have made so many contacts. Everyone at the courthouse knows who we are. This is so important. When an opportunity arises these people might think of us, where if they hadnt met us, they wouldnt. Got it? Good.

Anyway, we sneak over to the criminal court rooms at least once a week and today we ran into one of our professors who works for the DA. (booooo) I know. BUT he brought us into the counsel box today and we had front and center seats to the proceedings. ANDDDDD all the DAs flocked around us to offer us gratuitous lessons in the complexities of the penal code. They love us. Oh and so do the convicts btw. Yeah no more cleavage shirts on those days, fucking sick. So in short my life is wonderful and I'm on my way. I even texted my boyfriends (and mine) friend who is a genius in marketing. I told her I would treat her to a day of wine tasting if she coached me and smooth move on the tricks and tips of marketing. Im pretty sure smooth move and I are gonna run this City and soon! FUN STUFF KIDS! In case ur wondering why LSBoy and I are not collaborating, its cuz he's gonna go the JAG route, so thats that.

How to get a Boy into Sephora and why you shouldnt take my advice

Me: "Commmmmmmmmon baby there will be lots of pretty girls in there"
Him: "You totally lied what the hell there are no pretty girls"

2 minutes later

Him: "You totally lied"

2 minutes later

Him: "god why did you lie to me"

2 minutes later

Him: "this sucks, you lied, lets go"
Me: "gawd damn you perv get over it geeze"

Awkward is at work too!

If you have read this blog at all you will know that awkwardness is a dilemma I deal with regularly. Today at lunch smooth move texted me and said, "OMG, The man and his wife want us and our boyfriends to spend the weekend at their mountain house, you have to go!"

What the fuck?! Is that appropriate? Do you hang out on your bosses boat in a bathing suit and sleep in his house and golf at his country club? This is too weird to me. I don't know what to do.

"Choke me or I'm leaving"

Sometimes at the end of the day all a girl needs is a good ass whoopin in the sac. Or so she said. I have a friend who is a family law practitioner in New York. I spoke to her today about my experience so far working in family law. She decided to tell me about a meeting she had the other day with a client. Her client said she wants to divorce her husband because if its not missionary, he's goes umm how can i say this tactfully, oh never mind I cant--he goes soft.

Her client said she is leaving her husband because he won't choke her. And we all know that is symbolic for a whole bunch of other underlying issues but it made me think. How important is sexual chemistry in a relationship? Is a deal breaker?

I have a very good guy friend who has been in a long term relationship with an ASexual chick. He, on the other hand is a nympho. My friend spends many a frustrating night alone in bed in their spare room dreaming of the days when he got more ass than he could have ever wanted of. Which leads me to wonder is a stable, responsible, financially secure, smart, caring person with ZERO sex drive worth it?

This motivated me to do a little research and apparently every couple has a person with a higher sex drive than the other. How horrible is that?

Anyway, I don't have an answer to any of this because I don't personally like being choked and well I just don't know. But I would like to know how many people are truly satisfied with their sex life with their significant other. Because like I always say monogamy is NOT natural so maybe this is just more evidence that we are not meant to be with only one person forever.

It's sad but the statistics don't lie....50% of marriages end in divorce and I'm willing to bet the other 50% just came to terms with the fact that perfection doesn't exist.

On another note, my co-worker/partner in crime and I were in a meeting with "The Man" he told her to look up some lady, after he said her name, my co-worker who we will call smooth move said, "Can I find that in forms?" then she said "never mind maybe its not a form but are you speaking latin to me?" It was a person's name and smooth move was truly perplexed and I was laughing so hard I had tears. Guess you had to be there but smooth move is funnier than words...Thank god because among all the sadness that is family law-- is her running her mouth like diarrhea making each and every day a delight.