Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Blood, Sweat, Tears and hopefully a job.

I dont work on Weds. so I spend the day in the library like a good girl. The summer class I took was primarily day students and now I have quite a few day student aquaintences. (Im an evening student) Today I got to catch up with about 6 of them all throughout the day. The theme among each of these encounters was depression, anger and disappointment. Every single one of them said it is virtually impossible to keep up and the only way to stay above water is to read in your every single spare second. There is a lot of negativity flowing through the halls of my law school. Its very clear to me now why so many people are miserable in law school. There is absolutely no way to comprehend the work load until you actually experience it. You might think you know and you might not be afraid of hard work but you really have no idea how mentally draining it is.

I love to complain and I love bragging about how long my days are but I really do love it. Nothing is more gratifying than hard work. Which is probably the key difference between my bitching about exhaustion and them bitching about life in general. I haven't gotten behind on anything and Ive stuck to my study schedule. I am always prepared maybe with the wrong answers but at least I gave it some effort. This analysis goes way deeper than I can even articulate, my thoughts are very tangled right now. Cought up and confused with manifestation of mutual assent and Intentional infliction of emotional distress, with a touch of the UCC code 2-207. Those are the things floating in my mushy brain right now---its really hard to articulate any one thought.

What I did conclude and it may be presumptuous but the population of severely unhappy students are probably those same un employed attorneys that scare the shit out me. Maybe my theory was right.....blood, sweat, tears + preparation and opportunity= employment. I'm so scared to be unemployed when this is said and done. But I do believe that I'm doing this because it interests me, I love the challenge, and I can be good at it. Honestly, I NEVER think of $ other than lack thereof, while I'm paying my loans back.

Moral of my ramblings is: If you do it for the right reasons, your heart is in it, and you want it bad enough, you can do well, pass the bar, and get a job! Am I still being naive? I'm willing to accept that but I hope I'm right. I can NOT afford a 100k debt with no job.

You know what really bugs me about all of this---It is simply NOT fair and MISLEADING for law school faculty to constantly warn us about balance and exercising. If you are staying on top of your reading you have ZERO TIME. They shouldn't even give people the impression that its possible because it makes us feel like we are doing something wrong.

Anther famous quote from profs and admin: "Study smart but don't use commercial outlines or canned briefs." This is just freaking ridiculous, who do they take us for according to them we are the "smart ones" so why do they expect us to fall for this PROPAGANDA. Whatever its all about the end result all the bullshit in between is just a minor distraction that I'll brush off.

1 comment:

GrayStar said...

I am super worried about getting a job myself and I only have 15 months before I graduate!! My main problem is that I have to be in a specific town though...so that severely narrows down my options. However, there are sooooo many jobs available for law school grads so I wouldn't worry about it at all if you are willing to move!

Also, commercial outlines and briefs save my life so don't listen to anyone that says otherwise!!

Sounds like you are doing well in first year hell...don't worry it really does get better after the first year, people are NOT just saying that to make you feel better. You will get through it! :-)