Sunday, June 28, 2009

Who am I?

There are things I used to do. I'm not sure if I did them to maintain sanity during my first year or if I did them because they were my hobbies?

I used to download all new music every single Tuesday. I prided myself in finding the unique unknown musicians and then spreading the word to friends. Now my friends ask me what is new and I have no idea.

I used to read the news. Today my uncle asks if I wrote or called my legislator telling him to vote no on the some tax bill. I have no idea what he is talking about.

I used to plan my future. At this time I am unemployed and not even looking for work.

I used to study. Now, I stare blankly into space during class.

Who am I. This is scary because if I am already this retarded now imagine how I will be when im say 50?

I have completely lost my identity. How and why you ask. Well, because LSBoy has A LOT going on. So much that I act as a personal assistant. Managing contractors, his bills, his house, his laundry, his EVERYTHING. What do I get....money. Do I ever get a night out...NO. I'm lucky if I can talk him into watching TV for a few hours. I have to write about this and write and write and write until I understand where this is going and if its worth it.

What do I like about him...I like the fact that he is very guarded and has very few people in his life that he trusts. I like that I am number 1 to him and I like that he wants me around 24/7. I like that he depends on me. I like how his face lights up when he comes home and the house is clean. I like how amused he is by the little habits I notice he has. He finds it very interesting the things I come up with like how his voice changes from the morning till night and how he rubs his head when he is tired and how his feet are flat. He said, OMG no one on earth has ever noticed that about me. Well, I am extremely observant. I can walk into a room and know if something is different, I feel vibes, and I can see through peoples eyes. That is my only talent--people. I know people. I study them and he is quite fascinating to watch.



Is that enough...NO WAY. So now what. I have to find a way to live my life and still study my project.

1 comment:

Nichi said...

haha your a WIFE!

wait a second....I dont get any money... what the hell!