Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Professor Perv Part I

Every school has one----maybe ten. Men will be men right. And we are adults so it is different but still extremely awkward and disgusting.

Professor X is an adjunct and may or may not have a lil thing for me. I sit in the back of the classroom, minding my own business. No matter what I do or what I wear he still makes it a point to address me multiple times throughout the class period.

Now if Professor X was in the least attractive the attention would be flattering but he's NOT. Here is a lil taste of his classiness.

The first interaction we had was when he called on me to brief a case. After which he began to grill me like all reject prosecutors do....I wasn't having it. I let him have it...to the point he actually said I was mean :) I guess this triggered some fascination for him because ever since he tried to run me down and I won he is all over me.

One day it was freezing in the classroom so I changed the thermostat and then locked it. All the sudden Professor X began sweating and complaining about the temp. One of my classmates ratted me out. (Its a big joke that I know how to lock the tstat) So Professor X says to me in front of the whole class, "Well Ms. JD it's not our fault you came to school in your summer clothes, wearing the spaghetti straps and all."

Ok no big deal. Later on in class he begins to talk about a bar near our school. Me and the guy next to me began discussing it among ourselves when Professor X yells out, "Oh yeah Ms. JD I bet you bartend there!" Thankfully one of my other classmates told him, "No I think she owns it." (Thanks buddy)

Well last week was the worst. He called on me to brief a case and he was so sweet to me. Which was pretty blatant considering he grilled the guy before me for 20 minutes straight. He let me read the case and he said, "Good job, thank you." and then he moved on. (Teachers pet) At break he walked up to me and started a conversation with me. We started talking about gay porn theatres. (It was relevant to the case...I swear) I told him how there are still some in West Hollywood. After what seemed like the longest 10 minutes of my life he had managed to tell me about how him and his friends used to get "all fucked up" and how people would puke, pee, pass out, have sex, and deposit semen in his yard!!! Except he said "cum." SICKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.

Needless to say I took a long hot rape bath that night. I make it a point to cover up in this class but he will find a way to talk to me...I'm sure.

The worst part is the WHOLE class knows me now and who knows what they think based on the things he says to me in class. I really don't think I provoke this! I can't help it that I am irresistible and charming.... ;) JK but really teachers are so creepy sometimes.

Anyone else have some good stories of Law Profs gone wrong?

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