I know why people hate lawyers

People hate lawyers for the following reasons:

1. They have a problem, a problem that is consuming their every thought and has taken over their souls. These people can think of nothing other than said problem so they hire a lawyer and the lawyer doesn't quite feel the same way about the pressing urgency of this matter.

2. They go to their lawyers office and notice the expensive real wood furniture, the fancy paintings, the lawyers expensive suit, and her designer purse, diamond earings and $1000.00 shoes and they wonder...why the fuck am i paying you when you dont care about my problem.

3. Then client's problem escalates and laywer's sense of urgency dissapates even more. Then lawyer threatens to quit you because you are not paying.

4. You are fucked..leaving your lawyer is too scary, they know all about your problem and you don't want to start over, but you don't want to pay because they are ignoring you and they are rich anyway....

5. Your lawyer can't make your ridiculous dreams come true but you are paying for miracles so what is the problem.

6. Your lawyer is friends with opposing counsel! WTF!

7. Your lawyer will NOT take your calls.

8. Your lawyer's clerk is an asshole.

9. Client thinks that only the elite go to a lawyer, therefore, they should have a hand up on the opposition but you don't and your problem is stupid, and you spend tons of money fighting for "the principle" of the matter.

10. When it's all said and done you wonder what you were fighting for. And you hate lawyers because they have the upper hand and why....only because they have access to the law and they know how to read it. You realize you could've handled this without a lawyer and now you hate life and laywers.