Thursday, October 23, 2008

Why so sad....

Today was weird. ( I say that a lot and the funny thing is I HATE the word weird?!?) I felt like I was stuck in a tunnel-- totally numb and hearing buzzing all around me. Might be a mental illness but I don't have medical insurance so....too bad for me no meds. I did receive some good pep talks from those who know and that helped bring me some perspective. Thanks girls!

I had a good day at school. (My happy place) I become nuts when I am all alone studying for hours on end but when I am at school and have socializing breaks it's much more enjoyable. In fact I look forward to it. So I bonded with some full time 1Ls I met in the summer and gave them some pointers for their midterm based on the dumb mistakes I made. Hopefully, they won't have the same problems I did. I managed to talk a guy from jumping off the freeway into oncoming traffic and I bonded with the girls in the class.

Tonight was legal writing which is usually just an amusing night. My professor is hilarious and he really doesn't even mean to be which makes it all the better. Tonight he sad..."Why are you all so sad?" So we told him we got our midterms and lucky for us....he teaches exam taking also. We got a great pep talk from him. After class I asked him because he said we should talk to him if we had any questions, "When and how do you know if you are not cut out for this or do you make yourself cut out for this?" He said, "Only you know if you are cut out for this just be honest with yourself because deep down you know the truth."

And that's when the light bulbs, and lightening, went off, the buzzing in my ear stopped and I was able to see straight.........I think that's called an Epiphany....ok maybe a mini Epiphany. Point is I am not lying to myself --I am capable of doing this and doing well and I want it...BAD. What I am lying to myself about is my lack of ability. I know....I really know that I can do this. I just haven't fully truly committed myself to #1 making the best of this and being positive and #2 blood, sweat, and tears. I have the sweat and tears down but so far no blood. I need to work harder--END OF STORY!

p.s. I got 2nd highest grade on my Client Letter assignment it only counts for 15% of my grade but hey...I'll take it!

1 comment:

J. Money said...

2nd grade in the class?! Hooooooooooooooooooootness. Did you do this dance right after?