Monday, June 4, 2012

50 Shades of Man Magnet - Pheromones Seeping out Her Pores

The other day I met my best friend Red for breakfast. Both her and me are.... or were reading the 50 Shades trilogy (we are both done now). This man walked up to her out of the blue and told her she was stunning. It's not like that NEVER happens but it was unusual. Then today she had like 4 different guys texting her. She is a beautiful girl but suddenly boys are everywhere. We were trying to figure out what is going on, she hasn't changed at all. One thing that has happened however is the 50 Shades trilogy. We came up with a theory that the book made pheromones seep out of our skin. Lately, I have been hit on a lot too. Maybe the boys want us to tie them up? Not my thing-- but she might be into it ;)




The Party Animal is one foot away from crossing the line from cute to creepy. His new thing is texting me weird shit like "I.Have.to.Have.You." I said, "You.dont.know.me. and I think you might be a psychopath." He did not respond.

I have no filter on my mouth but I will not ignore my gutt. Men dont fall for a girl like that, it just doesn't happen. Especially a young 25 year old hottie who lives in the heart of sunny L.A. where all the pretty ladies are. He went to a great school, he is young and in his 2nd year of law school, and super duper cute so he must be psycho....ah hell.

He is lucky I didn't use the line I am saving for a very special guy. Everyone wants love even people studying for the Bar Exam but not everyone has an ego or pride like I do. I will not be played. Most men are transparent to me...that is what happens when you have really close guy friends who tell you what men really think. For example, I was told that guys figure out what generally works for them with girls and they use the same old tricks on every girl. Its a game of odds, he said. Eventually some girl will fall for it. I told the Party Animal that I am aware of this tactic and he does not make me feel special by feeding me bullshit. In fact to the contrary. I actually feel disrespected because I am way to educated to be treated like some dumb girl. You wanna have a casual summer fling, lets do it. No need for mind games. We all know my future first ex-husband will be older than me, and most certainly smarter than me because I can't tolerate less than that. In the meantime I'll play with the young cutie pies...play only! I feel like screaming at the Party Animal, "Do you know how many men would kill to find a girl like me? NO.STRINGS.ATTACHED!"

mY LINE: "Oh, you are a player?" Well, I'm the coach. You play the game, I make the rules. Got it? Good."




Laters baby ;)

1 comment:

Disney said...

I need to reread that book! (That'll be five times total, but who's counting.)

I also need to listen closer to your wise words cause I'd fall (right into his unmade bed) in a second for that text.