Slow and Steady Fails the Bar?

Since I received the bad news I have not really made a huge dent in the study material. So far I went through torts and spent today on Con Law. Don't feel like I have accomplished much and I am not as motivated as I thought I'd be. Especially after noticing that on my first read I failed by less than 20 points! Fuck! Each day truly does get better but I am feeling a lot of hatred toward my employer right now. They have zero sympathy for me and have not so much as offered to reduce my responsibility AT ALL.

Up until now, I really felt committed and dedicated to my job. But knowing that I may potentially be less useful to them and their response thereto, has left a bad taste in my mouth. Like Disney says, (ad nauseum) LOOK OUT FOR YOURSELF! YOU WONT FAIL THIS TWICE, NOT ON MY WATCH!" She knows best.

Problem is, I am encumbered by this big beautiful apartment I HAD TO HAVE. Disney also reminded me that I was utterly miserable living in a bedroom. (This goes back to my hoarder experience days) Living in a bedroom that was busting at the seams with my shit.

I really just want to run away and go live with my sister...I daydream about how I could pull that off but the sensible and responsible and grown up thing to do is to fulfill my lease---then run for the fucking hills asap!

Counting the minutes...