Thursday, August 14, 2008


What does integrity mean?

“Integrity is not a conditional word. It doesn't blow in the wind or change with the weather. It is your inner image of yourself, and if you look in there and see a man who won't cheat, then you know he never will.” John D. MacDonald

For the purposes of this post when I refer to cheating I am referring to that which occurs when a man or woman is unfaithful to his or her significant other.

Practicing restraint and self control seems boring. It takes a lot of courage to stand behind your moral convictions when faced with temptation. Hedonism is glamorized in our society and to live in excess is considered good; succumbing to the evils of the world is all to acceptable.

I have a really hard time accepting monogamy and have a pretty cynical view about marriage.
At the airport last week I spent the majority of my time people watching. I was amazed at the number of seemingly happy couples. In fact I sort of felt myself either growing up a little or just having a little epiphany. Maybe it is possible to be married to one person forever. Maybe some relationships are completely honest. I really haven't fully accepted this but I am making progress.

I am not one to deny myself anything. I can be quite spontaneous and to the point that I deal with regret too often. When being faced with a situation that may cause me to make a decision that doesn't feel right, it is all to easy to push that nagging voice to back of my mind. Especially when alcohol is involved. What results is lack of self respect and disappointment because deep deep deep down I have character and integrity and I care about myself. Even if my bad decisions don't always reflect that.

Sometimes the consequences are not acknowledged in time. The truth is that a few hours of devious fun can cause a loss of self that lasts for years. I think people are often fearful of letting their conscience be their strength because you might have to chose new friends, be lonely or bored.

Men and Women definitely have different ways of rationalizing their bad decisions. For example with regard to being with a married man women tend to come up with ridiculous excuses like..."If it wasn’t me it would be someone else." A justification that is baseless.

Women are only disrespecting themselves-- being that she should think as a woman and put herself in the others shoes.

My advice to myself: Stay away from situations u know are dangerous. If I don't trust myself then stay away. That is what I owe to myself.

One should know themselves well enough to know if for example...drinking too much causes them to lose their inhibitions and judgment enough to cheat. In which case a person who has integrity would avoid these situations in order to be true to his or her sense of dignity, pride and and self respect.

Life is about sacrifice and denying oneself these desires for the sake of being a good solid person is a sacrifice worth dealing with. Integrity is the most important element of being in a good, honest, whole, strong, and internally peaceful state of mind.

Our minds are chaotic at times and too many people make important life altering decisions without a lot of thought. We shouldn't live our lives for other people but we should value human beings and their feelings.

Integrity is a quality that affects all arenas of life but i find it most important when finding someone to have a relationship with. Humans have animalistic desires that are at times overwhelming. You should be sure that you are mentally mature enough to know that you are making a choice to be in charge of your self.

Before you commit to another be sure you are mature enough to handle the responsibility that comes with it. And when committing to yourself to be the best person you can be respect that equally.

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