Thursday, October 23, 2008

Humble Pie Anyone?...

Got my Torts midterm back yesterday. Talk about awkward...everyone became very quiet and we all acted like we had a secret. Truth is was very difficult not discussing grades. I didn't because I don't fully trust these people and my grade was bad. I have 800 million emotions/thoughts about last night. I'll start with this. I really thought that I wanted my classmates to do bad in comparison to me. In reality the looks on their faces and the somber mood made me very uncomfortable. I realized that I do not want them to do bad and I do not want them to feel like failures. In fact I actually like these people.

Just like all the books say....the people who did the worst and I'm talking in the 1.--region were not the people I expected to do so bad. In fact they are the people who seemed highly intelligent which I thought would translate to a high test grade. WRONG!

I left that midterm feeling pretty good-- man was I wrong. I fell exactly in the middle which is the equivalent to failing since I wanted to score higher. (who doesn't) Accepting mediocre grades has not gone down easily...

After class last night I met with the Torts guy--the upper class mentor guy and we went over my exam. He pretended that my grade was actually good based on never taking a law test etc. I don't believe him. Anyway, he read my answer and pointed out the fact that in the very first paragraph I contradicted myself. I defined elements of battery in explicit detail under the heading ASSAULT and failed to discuss same when discussing actual BATTERY. Oh lets not forget how I completely forgot to answer anything under my own heading of Private necessity, which he called a "BIG ISSUE." Towards the end of the test I started inserting shit anywhere which led to this comment: "Awkward Organization."

I am going to meet with him ASAP to talk about this, which he encouraged anyway. Apparently this particular professor hates IRAC and black letter. I was wrong--not fatally wrong but this would be enough to loose my scholarship.

Strangely I felt good on my way home. Maybe because up until now we have had no way to gauge our progress. Although, the grade wasn't great it was something. Now I know where I stand. Tonight I get my client letter back. I feel a renewed motivation and am almost happy to have something to work towards. My Torts mentor guy gave me a hypo to work on and he is going to evaluate my answer. I will use the methods he showed me last night.

On another sad note...I think we lost about 3 guys. They never show up and I think they have all exceeded their allotted absences. This doesn't make me any more secure...I thought it would. I do find myself wondering if I really have what it takes to be a lawyer...I don't know If I do and that is the first time I have said that and really meant it. Don't get me wrong I'll fail miserably before I will quit. This is a crazy journey my friends.


pennypincher said...

Do NOT get down about your midterm grade. I speak from experience when I tell you that I scored average/below average on my Torts midterm my first year in law school and got the second highest grade in the class after finals. I was within the top ten graduates at graduation and find that there are always was to improve. You will do just fine in law school and as a practicing attorney. I thoroughly enjoy reading your blog because I remember the days of first year law school and totally get what you are going through. Stay positive!!!!

Law Ingenue said...

Midterms are the worst because its the first time you encounter law school exams. Don't panic. You can definitely improve. Swallow your humble pie, see this as an opportunity to do better next time, and use it as an opportunity from which to study for the final, which is where the big points happen. Hang in there!

Butterflyfish said...

Midterms are awesome for exactly this reason -- I got the exact same grade on my first law school midterm -- also torts (though it didn't count for us). Torts was my best grade of first year (highest grade in class) because I finally had insight into what I was doing wrong and what I needed to do to do better.

I wish all my first year classes had midterms.