Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Inherently Dangerous


One of my friends has been married for 12 years and her marriage has come to a crossroad, a very sad, life altering place. It's scary, even for me. Cheating is so hurtful and causes so much pain that lasts a lifetime and scars you--sometimes ruining you for life. If you have read any of my earlier blogs you will know that I do not think monogamy is natural. That may sound really strange but if you think about it realistically you will probably agree with me.

Men have this innate natural urge to conquer as many women as humanly possible. There are different ways this manifests itself (in my experience with guys). Some men actually pursue other women and act on it, other men just lead these "other" girls on via text messages and occasional phone calls or emails. But even if this is just a mans way of preserving his cave man nature does that make it any less hurtful to their significant other? Isn't it bad enough that we have to ignore them checking other girls out? You can't deny that your man checks chicks out because EVERY single man i walk by looks at me. Now they may glance, they may stare, or they might just look innocently but they all look. Luckily I am able to tolerate my man checking out chicks because at the end of the day I know that I win.

How are girls supposed to handle this with care? Most girls manipulate and psychologically abuse their men into submission. This leads to the classic scenario of the beaten man who hates his significant other and dreams of the greener grass. I don't want this!! All I want is to be respected! Why is it so easy for women to be faithful? I don't even have any interest in other men. Not to say I'm having this problem in my personal life-- but I know my man is a flirt and loves attention so I don't doubt he has some questionable text messages in his phone ;) but I try to just chalk it up to him being a man. (crack that code girls ;) )

Another prevalent source of infidelity is TIME. Naturally we grow and change and sometimes our partners don't grow in the same direction or at the same speed, it's inevitable. People say relationships take work, is it right to throw away 12 years because you don't feel like sharing yourself with your mate anymore?

The harder you pull and the more you try to control the situation the faster they run. Men just want to be men. Emasculating them only makes them hate us. If your man can't be faithful then he doesn't deserve you. I haven't lost hope yet. I won't lie, I believe most men cheat but there are some good one's out there we just have to look.

Putting your heart out there is inherently dangerous, it is one of the bigger risks we take in life. (strict liability biatches) There is so much as stake, our dignity, pride, self esteem and so much more. Sometimes I don't think it is worth the risk. But the truth is what will be-- will be, and we cant control everything so I guess we just have to hope things work out and if they don't we move on. End of story.

1 comment:

je said...

Yeah, sadly, nobody is immune from cheating. Men and women both cheat. I think the most dangerous thing to a relationship is getting too comfortable and taking your partner for granted.