I've personally witnessed hundreds of divorces. That is my job. I divorce people. I don't internalize their issues because if I do I don't sleep. My empathy is ridiculous. Therefore, I have created coping mechanisms, one of which is denial and blocking things out. Real healthy and mature, I know.
Today I anxiously went to my mailbox looking for the ProActiv I recently ordered. Been on a no makeup-healthy face kick. Was so looking forward to using that little battery operated brush...
It wasn't there. On my way back I caught a glimpse into this apartment. The occupants of this particular apartment have always intrigued me because they are mid 40's, no kids, etc. The windows were wide open and I saw an apartment full of outdated, large, family style furnishings. That is when I surmised that the apartment occupant, SWF, is a divorcee. The contents of her apartment are undoubtedly the left overs from a failed marriage. Sad.
Earlier in the day, I was in another apartment. The occupant of this apartment, also a middle aged divorcee. The room is full of oversized, outdated, furnishings that were probably once inside the family residence. The dried flowers depressed me.
I wish, that all people had the choice to start from scratch after divorce. Instead we are financially handicapped and unable to splurge on an Ikea shopping spree. Sad. It's not Ashley...it's Ikea and we still can't do it. Or do they hold on to these things for a sense of normalcy?
It's just a thing. A thing that makes me uncomfortable and sad. Things are just things but they have a powerful impact on our psyche. Cleanse yourself of your past. Start over. Even if that means sitting in emptiness and dealing with the void that divorce brings. It's probably cathartic to just let the real, raw, empty, feeling pass through you instead of pretending that everything is ok by surrounding yourself with what used to be. Broken dreams and disappointment.
And this is when my job strikes a cord. When it penetrates that iron wall that protects me from your pain I'm filled with wonder and questions.
This is one of those posts that has no point. Just something on my mind.
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2 comments:
mismatch silverware, mismatched plates, missing books from the book shelf, pizza boxes, even the cat is single now
lmao! Yup! It's a sad state of affairs. I say start over. Even if it means sleeping on the floor.
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