Sunday, August 10, 2008

Good Ol' Fashioned Catholic guilt

I'm in North Dakota on a kind of mini vacation. Really I am here to help my younger sister out. She is having her 4th baby tomorrow. I'll stay here at her house and manage the other kiddies. We are all pretty excited and Its been a great distraction from life. I don't even know where my cell phone is at.

Today we went to church. I am by no means a bible thumper or holy roller or whatever you would call one who was overly consumed with organized religion. However, I do have some deep seeded feelings about the catholic church, the symbolism, and all things related. The priest read the sermon (i think that's what you call it?) It was about when Jesus walked across the water during a bad storm and the disciples didn't believe it was him. Whatever...the message was this: sometimes the going gets rough and sometimes we get scared and doubt ourselves and our beliefs but if we remain strong and believe in our hearts and souls that we will make it through the storm we will not drown. Faith. I don't think many lawyers believe in wishy washy things like faith, or fate, or anyother nonsensical unexplainable phenomena. I do.

So Ive been completely stressed out about the 1st because we had a long talk. I knew better. I didn't want to get into it with him because I know I get all fired up and he seems like he wants to do better then he fucks up and i feel bad. He was explaining to me how scared he was to go to prison, I was silent. Which is unusual. I just didn't care to give my two cents...its a waste of my breath. Anyway, I began to explain to him using words and analogies he understood how having something to look forward to such as goals makes life worth living. His heart is dead and he needs to become active in his healing. I told him to start fighting and stop drinking NOW. I told him to get a DUI attorney, check into rehab, ditch the friends, volunteer for an organization that educates others, fightttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt, FFFFFIIIIGGGGHHHHTTTT. I won't hold my breath but I will pray--yes i said it--pray, write him a compelling character letter, email him some links to DUI attorneys and see what he does with this. I'm not going to worry anymore. The end.

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