Thursday, August 7, 2008

creepy feelings


Last night I went hiking after work with a co-worker. As we struggled to get our asses up that gawd damn mountain I began to brag about how I ate a whole entire carne asada burrito for lunch--and I didn't even get sick!!! I boasted proudly. My co-worker probably had her i-pod on full blast at that point.

See the thing is I live on crumbs most of the time because #1 Im poor and #2 Im freakin busy. When I get a chance to sink my teeth into something solid its is an event! Since my diet is limited to cheeze its and coffee my stomach just doesnt know what to do when it has to deal with solid food, much less red meat.

So we are at the half way point of this 4 mile hike and suddenly I was re-enacting the scene from S&TC when Charlotte accidently drinks the water in mexico while showering and just doesnt make it to the bathroom in time. Yes, she shit her pants. Classic! Well luckily there was no shitting of the pants occuring on this mountain. I tried my hardest to tell myself MIND OF MATTER, which is a bunch of bullshit by the way. Several times on my way down I literally had to crouch down and catch my breath. That was almost the most horrible hour of my life. To make a super disgusting story short I did make it to the bathroom and was violently ill for the rest of the evening.


I get home, I'm dizzy, disoriented, sick from running all the way down the mountain, cold, hot, hungry, u name it. I take a shower and go to bed because the next day, which is today, would be my last day of the summer writting class AND I have a 6am flight on Friday. My alarm goes off at 5 and I do as I always thru my day in my head. HOLY FUCKIN SHIT I FORGOT TO PACK!! Ok, so now ur thinking big deal right? I had to be at work in ONE HOUR, promptly after work I had to go to school, my school is 50 miles from work and traffic is horrendous, from school i go to friends house around the corner from school, then tomorrow am to the airport. THERE WAS NO TIME FOR THIS. So I grab the suitcase and just throw everything in site in it. I get here tonight after class and decide to try to make sense of this mess and everything is just fine, it all worked out. But I am fucking exhausted and starving to death. Which leads me to my next story....

I am at the 1sts house. He is at work. I've spent the majority of my time here confined to a little uninhabited area of the living room. The boys in this house do most of their "living" upstairs with the big screen tv. Why do i do this you ask. Many reasons. First Im not comfortable here period. Second, Ive been doing quite well without tv for the last few weeks so ill save myself the aggrivation of dealing with 250 remote controls and just hang out on this cold leather sofa in this creepy condo. So I flipped through a few of the various mens mags laughed at the stupid shit they read and then just sat here completely stuck........Ok I really, really, really, didnt want to snoop, I swear! After all I could care less about this guy. BUT I am really nosey. What did I discover well this is what i found:

1 Million playboy, FHM, and Maxim mags (thank god I had something to do)
An entire cabinet of girl toiletries with some stinky ass perfume, nasty makeup, disgusting contraceptives (who stores the Nuva Ring under the sink? It goes in the fridge, Im just saying)

Some other kind of oitment (Im puking now)
A retarded love letter addressed to "boobies" which is what she calls him???
Gross crusty girl shoes
Gross crusty girl clothes
100 hair clips
and all kinds of other crap I didnt expect to see. So here I am now confined to the cold leather sofa downstairs in the dark afraid to sit anywhere. This nasty girl has probably marked every peice of furniture. GAG--This is close to torture. Good night all Im gonna sleep in my car.

No comments: