Tuesday, July 13, 2010


Today was one of those rare days where I met with a client and felt his pain. Lately my empathy has burnt out and I wonder if I even have it anymore. It was 4:00 and I was in the lobby talking to one of my volatile male clients when another man walked in. I wasn't familiar with this guy. He smelled like Old Spice and now I think I know why his case bothered me. He reminded me of my dad. This man was married for 29 years when his wife suddenly and abruptly left him for her highschool sweetheart. He brought a suitcase full of "proof" of what a wretched woman his ex-spouse is.

The man is 60 years old and he feels too tired to go through all of this. His house was wrecked by his ex who had six cats living in the house. She was a legit hoarder--he brought pictures. The worst part of these divorce cases is the left over love that still lingers in the one who was hurt. He spoke of his ex in a way that led me to believe she ruined his soul. He was defeated. Several times during our consultation I found myself locking eyes with him and at one point I just wanted to give him a pep talk. Poor, Poor guy.

So my day started with a 26 year old boy who got taken by an immigrant woman who only wanted citizenship. He really loved her and now he is ruined as well. And my day ended with a 60 year old man who was equally devastated.

Men may be more likely to cheat but when women hurt men they are ruined for life, in a profound way. Why live a lie, why deceive those you love the most--don't do it. It is just flat out cruel.


Michael said...

Very wise words.

Tragic stories though! :-(

Anonymous said...

Rough day. Family law can be really tough. I think it's a certain type to person to deal with that sort of terribly real emotional drama day-in and day-out.

Hope you have a good experience with it.

Anonymous said...

My firm has a client whose entire family (him, his adult children, and his wife) were all packed and about to head to a tropical island for vacation. Wife said that she was going to pop down to the corner store for cigs before they headed out. She cleared out all of their bank accounts and never came back.