Monday, July 16, 2012

Egg on My Face ....Again!

While working on multiple files for the Master of Rhetoric I experienced something new. Usually, I learn my bosses preferences and have easy and regular access to them to pick their brains. Here, my quasi-boss is in S.D. and super busy because his firm is BLOWING UP! This man has a lot of connections!

My assignments have fact patterns that are even more elusive than the infamous law school hypos. Additionally, it appears at first glance that these cases are losers. After mulling over one damning document after another---and with a throbbing headache from thinking too hard, I realize: Of course he knows what can be done---AND YOU DO NOT!

Prior to my epiphany I emailed the Master of Rhetoric telling him, in a roundabout way that this case WILL lose. Period. Who the fuck am I to say some shit like that?

At the end of the day and 12 hours into the project, which I could only in good conscience bill 6 hours for, I put my heart into the motion and did the best I could do at this time, with my limited resources, to prepare what I hope turned out to be a good faith effort at a legal argument.

Oh, don't worry that wasn't the worst misconception I have developed in my fat head. When you have 800 balls in the air you have to read-re-read-re-forward and review each email over and over again. It is a slightly OCD/anal retentive thing to do and it (a) refreshes my recollection and (b) to makes sure I have addressed each email. I digress.

I re-read the "Muse" email again and realized what he is talking about and I am a complete idiot.

Here is what he really meant, I think? And this interpretation makes sense. "If you want to learn from me- and I worked hard learning this shit, I'd be glad to mentor you but I'll leave that up to you to decide. I'd prefer to keep you at arms length in case I have to chew your ass out for fucking something up. I accidentally got friendly with you and I'm not comfortable with that because you WILL fuck up and I will chew your ASS-and that email will probably rhyme."

Despite his unconventional communication habits, today I realized, he is actually quite smart- You really have to listen in order to get the message. This message received-- but it may be to late. I think he'd rather have the "gat" in his pocket so he canshit can me if I fuck up. I can appreciate all this. I shouldve known better, it is absolutely nonsensical to have made any other inferences based on the email below. Basically, I proved to him that I am not as bright as he might have thought I was.

Note to Self:

Humility does not mean thinking less of yourself than of other people, nor does it mean having a low opinion of your own gifts. It means freedom from thinking about yourself at all. ~William Temple

Sending an apology into the Universe for the Master of Rhetoric-

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